The thing I notice in these days.

Everyone have some kind of talent. Some people are good at music, Some people are good at sports, some people are good at talking and socializing, some people has some super smart brain, some people are good at writing, some people are really good at computer and technology. Some people born with super richness, some people has good looking and body naturally, and some people are born with some kind of nice leadership and awesome personality.

Everyone has at least one of ability. But I don't know what is my talent. Kind of funny that even though some people said I am good at somthing, but when I see myself as a worldwide view, I suck. hahaha. I wish I have some talent like other people. I tried many and many of stuff, but it seems like does not work that well. Everytime I notice that, I feel so crap. 

I have many dreams. One of em is become a world famous chef. I love cooking, but that does not mean I am great like other genious cooks. I always try hard when I cook, but taste is always just whatevers. Everything I wanted to do, I suck. Musically, I am no good. Some people just born with such a nice ears and voice. I tried so hard to be something like that. But always, wall called "talent" stopped me. I practice more than others, but nah. I tried play sports, but always I suck. My reaction is pretty slow and my eyes are really slow and bad so I cannot see stuff well. I tried talk to people, Korean and English, I pretty suck at it. I try to witness others, but I cannot say good stuff like people who good at.

I know, thankful and agree with God gave me so much stuff. I feel so thankful. I am not being sarcastic or anything, I feel really thankful. I have healthy body,good parents, decent amount of money to go to school and many many things God gave it to me. And I am saved! So yes, there are so many things I have to give thanksgiving to God.

But everything what I have is just decent or bit lower than that "decent line". Maybe because of that, I cannot find my talent. I try to make talent. But I can't. I notice that I am just average person. Which is not bad, but every average person has some kind of talent, which is I don't have. Hopefully I can find my talent or I wish I have some kind of talent that is useful like others. 

Even though Super Mario is fat and ugly, but he can jump super high and shoot fireball with his stupid finger. 

I remember the one parable about owner give their three slaves a talent to each slave to invest or save for owner himself. And one of slave use his talent so well and he make 10 talents.

I promised myself that I will find my talent and I will use it and improve it, but golly, what is my talent? I want to cook well like other people, I want to sing and play instrument like other people, I want to witness like other people, I wish I am athletic like other people... Or at least I wish I have one of ability I wanted. I want to invest and I want to use my God gave talent to be better and nicer than what God gave. But seriously what is my talent?

I believe God has the greatest plan for my life, but I wonder how God can use the person like me who does not have any ability that is useful. What is my Dream? What is God's dream for me? 

I should pray more about this. God please show me the way and let me know what is my talent is.