I'm Tired Of Freakin' Made Fun Of

You know, for so many years now, I've been subjected to discrimination and teasing due to my lack of English proficiency, but I'm so freakin' tired of this crap now. Today the 7-eleven guy told me he couldn't understand my, "broken English" and kept telling me to repeat everything. WHAT THE FREAK!!

You know what... I'm not bad at English.

..."What?! You're not bad at English?"

Yeah, I know you were thinking that. I hate it when you guys always make fun of me, but I had to do it because I was conducting a personal experiment while I've been here in America. I noticed that people treat me like a piece of crap whenever I pretend to speak English that is lower than the acceptable level in California. Even worse, I noticed that people in KCCC tend to make fun of me for an average time of 1.2 minutes straight.

You might be thinking, "1.2 minutes? That's only 72 seconds of teasing! C'mon...". Well, think about all the people I meet in a day. I meet about 20 people every day. I one day I spend 24 minutes being made fun of and 168 minutes (2 hours 48 minutes) being teased each week. Let's compare this when I was in Iowa.

In Iowa, the people there were warm and friendly. They only made fun of me about 20 seconds average each person. That's about 3.5 times less than Californians! The sarcasm and bullying attitudes of people in California is too much for me. After today, I'm going to make fun of YOUR English.

Person A: OMG, I drive like 50 miles just to get that tasty burger...
Me: Excuse me, it's "I drove". You need to learn how to use your past tenses correctly. Stupid American.
Person A: What?!
Me: Wow, what advanced English... you just made an exclamation with one word. You are such a genius. Bravo.
Person A: Wh... what the... are you making fun of me?
Me: Studdering is a great way to improve your English. Keep it up.

So Chandler, Julie, and Jevons... all of you should think before you speak. I am a master of sharp rebuttals and I'm sure you wouldn't want to be embarassed by a "FOB" that speaks better English than you